last week my grandma passed away. i should probably go into how great our relationship was, all the things she did for me. but i feel like I've been doing that nonstop for what feels like forever now. and it's exhausting. because what i really want to say is last week was the most horrible week of my life. at least that's what i kept saying in my head. and then quickly followed by this guilt driven '...you spoiled girl'. because if the worst thing in my life so far has been my grandma dying, then i guess i've had a pretty easy life...mostly because of her. ironic. hah. it was sudden and fast. unexpected and simply horrible. but i just thought i'd mention it because it was so odd sitting in temple, feeling like bullets were shooting through my heart anytime anyone said anything to me about her. thinking to myself 'this is the most horrible day of my life...you spoiled spoiled girl'.
when i got back home i was about to go to a dark dark place. and then brian took me bike riding.